Time flies so fast that we forget what we were in our teens, what we wanted and what our behavior was ... Before you condemn your child or scold him, remember what you yourself were like at that age.
We become adults, so serious that there is not even a hint in us that we were once carefree and light children.
Our mistake in communicating with our teenage children is that we do not hear them and are not ready to put up with some kind of childish pranks. Yes, we are parents, and we think that we know better what is good for our children, but they cannot look at the situation with our eyes.
If you want to influence your child, and the old methods of education do not work, try to behave differently. Perhaps from this article you will be able to draw useful tips for yourself.
10. Violation of personal space
Parents believe that they have the right to get into the bag, pockets of their child. I wonder what they want to find there? So you show him that you do not respect his personal space and do not trust. But a teenager is just starting to learn what personal space is ... Such behavior greatly undermines your child’s trust in you - most likely, on the contrary, he will want to share something less with you and it will be better to hide his things.
If you want to keep abreast of the affairs of your child - try not to rummage through his things, but calmly agree on control.
9. Inconsistency
Sometimes, when parents want their child to fulfill some requirements, they resort to previously unfulfilled threats and promises. But when the goal is achieved - they can forget about their words or simply are not in a hurry to fulfill what they promised. But you should know - teens are very scrupulous about the things that parents promise.
If your words are constantly empty - the teenager will cease to believe you, and you will cease to be authority for him.
8. Ignoring the views of a teenager
Many parents are wrong in that they are not interested in the opinion of their child, in the same domestic issues. If you are planning to go somewhere for the weekend, ask your child what kind of vacation he would prefer: go to the cottage or go to the movies? And which wallpaper is better to choose? Do not solve something without consulting your child. He will think that his opinion is worth nothing, and he is not respected.
Such an attitude may lead him to aggression or he may not be able to make decisions in the future.
7. Too many teachings
Each of us goes through different age stages, and a teenager cannot take and instantly become an adult and think like an adult. Even adults make a lot of mistakes, not to mention children. But this is not a reason to become a dictator and show his power over the child. This can only lead to aggression and the desire to unlock in every possible way. Constant moralizing can lead to a child undermining self-esteem.
Parents need to learn to see in their child a personality that should be respected. If you understand that he is doing something wrong or to the detriment of himself - try to calmly talk to him, on an equal footing.
6. Depreciation of the feelings of a teenager
Parents often believe that their children are too dramatic and too infantile - for example, they suffer because of unrequited love, arranging the end of the world, or for some other reason. Yes, we all outgrow some things, understanding how we were mistaken in our youth, but for a child at this moment something can be really important.
Understand what happens to a teenager - this is normal, everyone goes through age-related mental changes. Try not to depreciate his feelings, but be close and support, take seriously what is happening to him and what he feels.
5. Insisting on honesty
Many parents hardly accept that an adult child no longer needs them, and not everyone that happens to him wants to share. Perhaps the relationship with your child was originally incorrectly built - because if you were a friend to him, and not a dictator, he would like to tell about everything.
It becomes more important for a teenager to make decisions himself, rather than consult with his parents. Rely on your opinion. The more he begins to feel pressure, the more he wants to close, protecting his personal space.
4. Suspension of the parent
Constantly asking a child about everything, violating his personal space is not the best thing you can do, but to step aside is also a wrong choice. Not knowing how your child lives, with whom he communicates, that he loves, you cannot build a trusting relationship with him. In addition, you should also be an example for a teenager, authority, as a parent.
Try to freely communicate with your child about what he likes - let him tell you about his favorite group, his hobbies. Be always aware of what is happening to him, but never criticize. So you deserve its location.
3. Reluctance to accept teenager friends
It is very good if your child’s friends are exemplary, kind children who think about their future. But a child can fall into a bad company ... To condemn and prohibit communication is not an option. It’s better to ask your child better, with whom he communicates most closely from this company, more often invite this person to visit for tea and cake.
Let the child see that you are not against a friend whom he likes. But carefully point out those features that should alert him to it. For example: "Dima seems to be a good guy, but he can foolishly make a mistake ... be more careful in communicating with him." An emotional conversation will be much better than a ban on communicating with anyone.
2. Spend little time together
Many parents go to work, and do not know what their child is doing at this time, where they are going and how they feel ... Do not forget that a teenager needs attention, and he also needs to feel necessary and important in your life. Otherwise, he will begin to feel unprotected, unnecessary.
Even if you always do not have time, take quality. Take a trip together on the weekend, find out how your child lives, what he wants, what he dreams about. Try to always be aware of what is happening to him. And show what you are interested in with him.
1. Lack of respect for a teenager
Disrespect can manifest itself in different situations - you continually make him the culprit of what is happening, do not listen to his opinion, feelings. If the parents are worried that their child is being delayed, then they start yelling at him and blaming him when he comes back from the walk late. But a raised tone for a teenager means only your breakdown, and he feels right about himself.
If the same thing is constantly repeated, the child simply will not pay attention to you, a certain vicious circle will form. Learn to talk calmly, without breakdowns and tantrums. And understand why your child is doing this.